Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge, Isobel. I agree that your story was most entertaining. I particularly enjoyed your adverbs that showed HOW the action happened (eg. secretly, loudly). This is great writing for a Year 4 student, and I can see that you are already an excellent writer, only getting better! A couple of pointers from me:
*The prompt had ellipses before and after the writing (…) which means it needed to have writing before it, too.
*Where should the apostrophe go in this phrase, ‘girls dad’? Why?
*A comma is needed in the first sentence – can you see where?
Your writing is just brilliant, Isobel. I hope that I get to read another piece of yours!
That is very entertaining:)
Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge, Isobel. I agree that your story was most entertaining. I particularly enjoyed your adverbs that showed HOW the action happened (eg. secretly, loudly). This is great writing for a Year 4 student, and I can see that you are already an excellent writer, only getting better! A couple of pointers from me:
*The prompt had ellipses before and after the writing (…) which means it needed to have writing before it, too.
*Where should the apostrophe go in this phrase, ‘girls dad’? Why?
*A comma is needed in the first sentence – can you see where?
Your writing is just brilliant, Isobel. I hope that I get to read another piece of yours!