Well done Kathleen on a great piece of writing. You had quite and adventure and I’m glad you art still alive to tell the tale!. The opening of your piece is excellent and it really captures the reader attention. I like how brightly coloured fish swam merrily. You did a very good job at describing the shark and there is a very vivid image for the reader. To improve try to use a mixture of short and long sentences. There are some carry-on sentences here that make for difficult reading.
I like you started doing swimming and you carried on swimming.
Wow! This is awesome! I really enjoyed it. It had me on the edge of my seat! Well done!
Holly 🙂
Well done Kathleen on a great piece of writing. You had quite and adventure and I’m glad you art still alive to tell the tale!. The opening of your piece is excellent and it really captures the reader attention. I like how brightly coloured fish swam merrily. You did a very good job at describing the shark and there is a very vivid image for the reader. To improve try to use a mixture of short and long sentences. There are some carry-on sentences here that make for difficult reading.