I liked how you used brilliant vocabulary because it makes your writing sound like it’s coming from a real author! Maybe you could of wrote how the parent’s were cheering. I loved how you really chose the right words!
you had amazing descriptive sentences all the way through the story which I loved
you had brilliant openers vocab connectives I loved
thanks for posting it I enjoyed it
I liked how you used brilliant vocabulary because it makes your writing sound like it’s coming from a real author! Maybe you could of wrote how the parent’s were cheering. I loved how you really chose the right words!
I loved it.
you used brilliant vocabulary
really good openers
fantastic connectives
I liked it all!
How well did you do at the competition?
it wasn’t a competition it was just for some fun but I think everyone did really well. thank you William!
you had amazing descriptive sentences all the way through the story which I loved
you had brilliant openers vocab connectives I loved
thanks for posting it I enjoyed it
The adjectives were soooooo good, they blew my mind away! 🙂
I love it!!! How did you feel when you were on the bus with the wind blowing on your face?
I felt really excited and fresh as the wind blew in my face
That was AMAZING writing I love the part where you used the word over looking! Remember to use a comma when you need it.
I love you ‘re diary entry.I liked the punctuation all through the story.To make you ‘re diary the BEST.You could improve in
you ‘re openers.
I think that was a very positive comment Aimal thank you very much I shall try to improve on my openers.